I used to be eager to speak out on topical issues but in recent times I have become silent as a personal choice, but i just had to share these few thoughts . Some of the our ladies these days have placed wealth and comfort(though they are important)above love and happiness. You want to marry someone that earns above 200k but you don't have a regular job or you actually do but your concern is to have a million naira wedding on Bellanaija. Jisike... When I wanted to get married, I wanted the simple stuff, the beach side wedding with a few friends and family and no asoebi and no bridal party, but the hubby and family wanted it the other way and i had to go with the flow to make all parties happy. I remember someone told me after my wedding "Chinyere your wedding was very nice except the food was not enough" and I told her babe I only printed 200Ivs and planned food for 500persons and the turnout was above 1000 persons. I wan kill myself? "The most important thing is that am with my husband now".You want to have the pre-wedding shoot, all the glitz and glamour of the wedding, what happens after the wedding. How many of those people who attended and told you your wedding was the best ever will be there when the realities start kicking in.
Let's face it what goes on after the wedding day in marriage is way more than what happens on that particular day. A lot of challenges will come(oh yes they will,don't let anybody lie to you), some will be communication gap, some will be insecurity, others might be inability to surrender your independence, some will be infertility, even misunderstanding, some will be revelation of hidden and annoying attitudes and most times lack of money is always the last on the list.
But love prevails in all this challenges and above all calling God into your home. During my marriage counselling our Pastor told us that above all the challenges we may face, that we should always CHOOSE TO BE WITH EACH OTHER. Because I have chosen to be with my husband and no oneelse, it means that whether he earns 200k or less, that I still want to be with him not with that man that earns 1million naira per month. I have chosen love for my husband, lasting relationship and happiness above millions in my bank account, not because I am allergic to millions but because I believe my husband is a young man with great potentials and with God helping us, and together in few years to come we will have that and many more and our love and happiness will in no way be compromised.
Ladies!ladies! Ladies! The economy is already hard as it is, so many companies are downsizing and you hardly find ongoing recruitment, those who arelucky to retain there jobs are not getting promotions rather there's even a cut in salary. And one fine young man will come in this hard time knowing the cost of a bag of rice to propose marriage to you and you reject because his salary is not above 200k ... ngwanu keep waiting for Dangote abi Adenuga or Tinubu's son... soon you will find yourself in one of this deliverance churches.
The bottomline of this discussion is this, Ladies marry for love and happiness and not for wealth or fame and please do not marry a loser who has nothing to offer you. Atleast let him have a job and the drive to make more money. In few years to come, he whose salary was 100-150k with hard work and you encouraging and supporting him will be earning above 500k-100million.
Don't turn down a good man because of his current salary and don't marry a jerk because of his current salary because you will have your taste of hell fire on earth if you are in a bad marriage. It could cut short your life. Your beauty can diminish in just a few months because of a bad marriage.
Marriage is such a long time to live in unhappiness. There are worse things a man can do to a woman other hitting her, abuse is not only physical it cuts across a lot. Some women beg to be hit so they will have evidence than all the other forms of abuse which no one can see.
A good marriage with or without money cannot be hidden. You have A supportive husband who is not ashamed to show you off. You have A man who offers domestic help to you. You have A man who reminds you daily of how beautiful you are either by words or action. You have A man who just goes out of his way to treat you right and make sure you laugh all the time. My husband likes the way I laugh so always he tries to do something that will make me laugh all the time. A good marriage makes you glow as woman and everybody will see it.
After reflecting on all i have written I can truly boast that I have a good marriage and I am happy and all my basic needs are taken care of without the 1million monthly salary.😃😃😃😃
We are working on forever and not today and now. Some people made there first millions in their 40s and 50s, the goddess of goodluck can just smile on that young man just one day and you will become the first lady. Do not despise a man's humble beggining. My grandfather used to say that "nwoke nji magic biri" literal translation, "a man is living with magic". He can go out today and meet an opportunity that will turn him to a millonaire overnight.
Ladies invite God in your choice and you won't regret it and please make hay while the sun shines. ..
Written by: Chinyere Ugo-Onyebuenyi
No comments:
Post a Comment